Not all relationships that started in Poly will end up happily ever after. However, relationships that last do come by like a rare Pokémon. Jeremy and Rachel share what they have learnt about relationships while they were dating and now that they are happily married.
Poly Parcel: Hi Jeremy and Rachel! Could you tell us a little more about yourself?
Jeremy: I was in Ngee Ann Poly and took Clean Energy Management. I started working at a solar company and have since expanded my career options. I am now working in an M&E consultancy firm.
Rachel: I was studying Electrical Engineering in Ngee Ann Poly and I studied Finance in university. I am currently working in the finance sector.
1. How did both of you meet?
Jeremy: I met Rachel in a poly camp and I asked her to go on a night walk with me and sparks have been flying since that day.
Rachel: We both met during one of the orientation camps where he was the photographer of the camp and I was helping out as a group leader. We started talking when he was taking photos of my group. We both found it easy to connect with each other and were comfortable even though we had just met. Ever since that day, our conversations have never ended.
2. What attracted you to one another?
Jeremy: I find her beauty in her most dressed down (camp dressing) moments.
Rachel: He is someone who is genuine and kind and someone that makes people feel comfortable to be around. He has a sense of humour which is kinda lame, but who doesn’t love a guy with a sense of humour!
3. What was the most memorable poly moment for both of you?
Jeremy: Being able to attend another school camp together, which was a time where we had chances to discover more about each other which allowed our relationship to grow.
Rachel: Keeping the relationship a secret from my parents but they figured out, so it became an open secret that no one spoke about.
4. What is a struggle that both of you faced as a couple while dating?
Jeremy: Finding a balance between spending time together meaningfully and spending money on each other. We tend to get caught up in consumerism with countless advertisements telling us how we need to spend and things we need to get to make our partners happy. This ultimately leads to poor financial choices.
Rachel: Finding security in a relationship. All of us want to be loved by someone, if not everyone around us.
5. How did you overcome it and where are you guys now?
Jeremy: We still have not fully found a balance but with both of us earning an income currently and having bills to pay, we are more conscious about prioritising our finances instead of spending frivolously.
Rachel: For me, I think that it boils down to our identity–who are we and what makes us, us? Do we lose ourselves when we are in a relationship? I met a group of friends that helped assure me of my identity and encouraged me to not be overruled by my emotions and let them run my life. With that, loving yourself comes first before you can love another. Now we have found ourselves in a new phase which is marriage.
6. What changed or remained the same over the years?
Jeremy: My taste in food and fashion choices have changed quite a lot, almost everything in my wardrobe is chosen by her. My attraction to her has remained the same. Or I can say.. have grown actually.
Rachel: The way we communicate is probably something that remained the same, as cliche as it sounds. Communication is key, especially communicating with a resolution in mind during conflicts. One thing that changed is probably our outlooks on life. I have realised that choosing the simpler things in life could actually make me happier compared to the finer things.
7. What do you think makes love last? Any advice?
Jeremy: Being frank with one another when in a relationship and having good communication. Since we cannot read minds and we have different personalities, we can never fully understand each other’s thought processes unless we make the effort to express how we truly feel or think.
Rachel: I would define “love” as a feeling at first but what makes it last is the commitment and the willingness to make the effort every single day you choose to be together. There is no perfect person/partner. You can neither change everything about yourself nor can you change the other person. True love also comes with sacrifices, accepting flaws that also shapes the both of you. The choice is yours to love every day and cherish your partner regardless.
8. How has your relationship/love changed now that you are married?
Jeremy: As we have been together for almost 8 years before getting married, not much has changed between us. However, some things will definitely change. One such change is making life choices together and learning to live with each other as each of us have our own way of doing things at home. Accommodating to each other’s quirks can be challenging at times but it is also fun to discover new things about each other.
Rachel: We are more into cooking and preparing for our future guests as we don’t have to follow our mum’s kitchen rules. So far, I don’t think much has changed but definitely new discoveries have been made like how one squeezes the toothpaste tube–from the bottom or from the middle? I guess little things like these make you love your partner a little bit more.
