What happens when you’ve not spoken to or connected with a friend in a few years?
Yan Wen was my Polytechnic course mate. We got close after going to Taiwan together in 2018 with a group of our course mates that I was unfamiliar with. Yan Wen and I shared a room and she took great care of me so that I wasn’t left out.
Our friendship blossomed quickly after the trip. We had common interests and shared the same sense of humor. A few months later, we were on the way to Bangkok after booking our tickets at the spur of the moment. We also attended a couple of concerts together.
Yan Wen (left) and I shopping in Bangkok in 2018.
Upon graduation in 2020, we were planning on a graduation road trip to Australia to skydrive, and even considered going on a Trans-Siberian trip. But Covid-19 crushed our plans, and plagued our friendship.
The pandemic made it difficult to meet up, and I soon started University. My interactions with Yan Wen started to fade to occasional Instagram story reactions and replies, but as I got busier with school, I often left Yan Wen on the read, forgetting to reply to her.
While I still treasured Yan Wen as a friend, I didn’t know how to reach out to her. Does she still remember me? Is she angry that I ghosted her so many times? She’s doing so well now, will she think that I have ulterior motives for reconnecting?
All these reasons hindered me from reaching out to her, until a homecoming event in October 2023.
I was excited to meet Yan Wen and reconnect with her, yet I was also anxious about how she would react. Yan Wen is an open book, a look at her expression and I would know what she’s thinking.
As I walked into the homecoming venue, I spotted Yan Wen and we made eye contact. I ran up to her, whined about how much I missed her and apologized immediately. The next thing I knew, we scheduled a lunch appointment to catch up the following week.
This time, I was determined to keep her in my life. Over the meal, I shared how I felt and I am so grateful for her open-mindedness and forgiveness towards me disappearing from her life.
Just last week, Yan Wen and I attended another concert. It was the same singer that we watched in 2018 which was our first concert together. There we sat in the Indoor Stadium, reminiscing the good old times and memories we shared.
Yan Wen (left) and I attending the same singer’s concert in 2018 (top photo) and in 2024 (bottom photo)
After the concert ended, we grabbed supper and continued talking till the wee hours, heartened that we are willing to embrace each other into our lives now, and pleasantly surprised that after three years of nearly no contact, there was no awkwardness between us and we could just pick up from where we last ended.
Yan Wen (right) and I caught up over McDonald's Drive Thru supper after the concert!
So… what happens when you’ve not spoken to or connected with a friend in a few years?
Well, you either lose contact, which is simply part and parcel of life. Or, you get lucky like me, and regain a valuable friend back into your life!
A good friend is hard to come by. Therefore if you are still hesitating to reach out to an old friend, I urge you to take the step of faith and contact them. I promise you that the emotional reward and joy of reconnecting with a dear friend is so worth it.
And who knows, your friend might just be waiting for you to take the first move!
