In my youth, whenever the new year rolled around, I tried weird things like this because I enjoyed the feeling of precision it offered:
Photo by guccimerucci from Reddit
However, one thing I've never done until recently was being serious in New Year's resolutions.
I've always thought resolutions were gimmicky and they added undue pressure to my life.
● Go to the gym more? I did workouts indeed—using my fingers (gaming) and sit-ups from the sofa.
● Run more? I ran... after the bus. To be fair, I did enjoy running.
● Learn a new skill? I tried and unfortunately failed in some, including cooking, photography, coding and graphic design.
Perhaps unintentionally, we hear a lot of talk about "New Year, New Me", taking on forms such as:
● What's one new thing you want to do next year?
● What's one thing you want to change about yourself?
● What's one good and bad thing from this year that can be changed for next year?
I hazard that this year may not be so different. Compounded with the strange past few years we all went through, where the pandemic changed the fundamentals of how we viewed studying, community and social interactions, we may be increasingly jaded about being optimistic towards the future, as it seems that there isn't much hope for things to improve significantly when 2023 rolls around.
We may groan at the prospect of next year. Worries come: What if I can't do well this semester? What if I cannot secure the internship I want? Maybe I should look for a part-time job to have extra pocket money?
Sometimes these worries become existential: Am I in the right course? What happens if I can't make it to University? Will I ever find a girlfriend/boyfriend? Add on the pressure of "New Year, New Me" and it can feel like it's too much. Sometimes, the immense pressure can be overwhelming , and one might respond by thinking "Forget it. I'm just going to have fun today, and live for today."
Given how the last few years turned out for us all and the towering pressure of a need to “discover ourselves” and plan out our lives, a form of decision paralysis may set in - it seems like too much effort to work “everything” out.
It's understandably difficult for some to find something to look forward to in the new year. With 2023 fast approaching, there might be a way forward out of the rut. I liken this to an analogy of shooting an arrow at a target. You require three things:
a target, a bow, and an arrow to pierce the target
Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels
1. The Target: Why make a resolution or goal?
Even if you think that there is little visible hope for 2023, even if you think things may remain the same, there is an inherent value in setting a resolution for yourself. I don't mean vague and generic resolutions like those mentioned earlier—but resolutions and goals with specific and measurable markers of improvement and success.
I think one of the problems with the way we construct resolutions is that they are "general statements" (such as my "I will exercise more") towards vague ideas of "becoming better".
We often say these statements with our lips but our hearts and minds don't agree nor believe in it, or that they are so far out of reach and unrealistic.
For example, one of my early resolutions as a teen was to have a swimmer's body by June because I thought it would be attractive to the girl I liked (that ship sank rather quickly).
I was talking about the concept of New Year resolutions with an old friend sometime back. She said "I just make resolutions just because lor."
It's a common refrain that I used last time, but let's be real: working on and fulfilling the resolutions with this basis will be very difficult and it is likely to fail. When you make resolutions for the sake of it, you will inevitably find it harder and harder to keep to it because there's inherently no personal value to its existence.
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Resolutions and goals may also reflect your chosen direction/type of person you want to be, even if it’s just at this point of your life. As we consider who we are in the present, we also build a larger picture of who we want to be in the future.
Research has shown that purpose plays strong physiological and psychological roles in our lives—where one will be more emotionally stable, have positive health benefits for oneself, and increased life satisfaction and positive social relationships.
Not all purposes need to be bombastic—you could be in a particular course because your purpose is to gain the necessary knowledge and skills to pursue a future career in that sector. It could be as straightforward as wanting to be a kind and empathetic person to your family and friends.
Note that purpose is related to "being" rather than "doing". Resolutions and goals are the "doing" steps leading to your purpose, your "being".
With a purpose and direction, we might be more motivated towards resolutions and goals that work towards this purpose. Your resolutions and goals work even better when you can quantify and measure your progress—such as giving yourself 3 months to start an exercise regime, or a month to build a study plan, then trial-testing it for the subsequent 2 months to see if that works.
Give yourself the space and allow yourself to make mistakes and adjust your expectations to your resolutions and goals since you're the master of your life, not your resolutions and goals.
Even if you do this perfectly, this does not mean that you will definitely succeed in all your resolutions. However, this trains us to persevere working towards our resolutions. With practice, it gets easier to push yourself through each resolution, which encourages you to look forward to new resolutions and goals as each subsequent year rolls by.
Making resolutions and goals geared towards achieving your purpose can be a wise action to take because it allows you to channel your energy, time and actions meaningfully. These resolutions are signposts to move you along and keep you grounded in heading in a specific direction.
Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels
2. The Bow: What resources do you need to achieve your resolution or goal?
Now that you have some ideas of your purpose, resolutions and goals, what next? You need a "delivery system" to launch the arrow towards the target.
A bow isn't simply a bent piece of wood and a bowstring—there are different kinds of bows over history. Each kind of bow has the essential purpose of firing an arrow, yet each kind of bow uses different resources and configurations, to launch different kinds of projectiles (arrow, fire arrows, bolt, ballista et cetera) to achieve different battle objectives.
Infographic by Odelia Ong
Similarly, every purpose can manifest itself through different resolutions and goals, which require different resources and configurations to achieve them. For instance, if you resolve to focus on your studies and pull your GPA up in 2023, you need to consider your resources:
- Where are you right now regarding your GPA, and your drive to buckle in and study?
- What resources do you need (more time in consultation with your lecturer, additional reading resources, redoing of notes etc) so that you can use them to achieve your resolution?
- Would changing your intake of coffee or tea and changing your study patterns help you better?
- How much do you need to scale back on TikTok and social media?
This is the point: think about what you need to know and prepare to succeed in your resolution and goal. By anticipating the resources we require, we are more prepared to put in the work to achieve your resolutions and goals because we are simply better equipped to face the process head-on. Having the resources also allow you to sustain your efforts towards achieving your resolution and goal, because you know that you have prepared what you need to keep you going.
3. The Arrow: Charting a plan for your resolution or goal
You may know this story—Two woodcutters always compared their abilities with each other. They set out a challenge: the one who could chop the most wood in three hours wins.
Photo by Harry Cunningham from Pexels
When the competition started, the first woodcutter got to work. He chopped and chopped. Soon, a sizeable pile of chopped wood grew beside him. He turned to look at his competition and saw an incredible sight. The second woodcutter had not even started— he was merely sitting on the ground, using a stone to sharpen his axe.
The first woodcutter laughed and continued his vigorous chopping. After an hour, the second woodcutter stood up and began to chop. As time went by, the first woodcutter realized that he was taking more time to chop each log of wood, and when he glanced at his competitor, the second woodcutter was steaming away, catching up very quickly with the first woodcutter. The first woodcutter panicked but no matter how hard he hacked the logs, he was tired and his axe was increasingly ineffective. At the end of the competition, the second woodcutter won an emphatic victory.
The moral works the same way here: Success involves having a plan, and then executing it. You may have the best target, the best compound bow and the best archery skills. However, if your arrowhead is not sharp, it may not fly well and even if you hit the target, the arrow may not pierce it.
Part of having a specific resolution is giving yourself a timeline to achieve it. Sometimes we may act as if resolutions and goals are debt collectors—we forget about their existence until they come knocking, reminding you that “... the year is ending in two weeks, what is the result of your resolution?”
Now that you have the target and the correct bow (resources), sharpening your arrow requires you to plan out your resources and effort, to reach your target within your specified time. You can then take small steps consistently towards your resolution and goal. This core concept can make or break your resolution, as unattainable resolutions usually do not have reasonable time standards attributed to them.
If you resolve to do well for your semester and you already know your resources, the next step is to plan it:
- How long will you study each day?
- Will forming a regular study group help?
- How do you factor in time with your family and friends?
Once a plan is enacted, the last step to take is to take the shot. Release the arrow, and move with your plan.
An example
You may have an abstract resolution, or you may need to see an example of this in action. I will use an example of my own resolution to demonstrate the crafting of a resolution, alongside preparing your bow and arrow.
Example purpose: Helping others become better versions of themselves.
Infographic by Odelia Ong
To wrap up
Having a resolution derived from a chosen purpose keeps you grounded in your current reality, and crucially at the same time, it gives you a hope for the next day— hope that life can get better, and there is a reason to live for today, and the future.
Circumstances still happen and plans will inevitably change, but exercising these muscles of purpose, planning and preparation will help you navigate your Polytechnic, University and work-life better, and help you towards a well-rounded perspective towards the years ahead, and not just in 2023.
Happy resolution setting!
References:
The Benefits of Having a Sense of Purpose
The Importance of Having a Sense of Purpose
