Hi I’m Caroline and I'm a TP grad! I like Animal Crossing, Kodak Gold and caffeine. These are my top 5 songs for 2020. I must warn you though, I tend to enjoy songs that are heavier, noisier and darker than what I would think is considered normal. A common theme for these songs are that they make me feel understood and heard, especially when there’s a whirlwind of emotions brewing within and I don’t have the right words to say.
Feel Alive — Tiny Moving Parts
As someone who thinks about death quite a bit (whoops, too dark?), 2020 multiplied those thoughts rather dramatically. Which is why it is fitting that my supposed anthem of 2020 is Feel Alive by Tiny Moving Parts. The song starts off with a blast of blaring guitars, a sick rift and leads into Dylan, the lead singer + math rock magician, calling us to dissolve into a blanket together. The main gist of the song is about wanting to feel alive, despite feeling the dregs of death and despair weighing on one’s shoulders. Throughout the song, Dylan admits repeatedly that he wants to feel alive all the time, implying that most times, that doesn’t seem to be the case. I appreciate the honesty in this song, as it addresses a topic that can be taboo to most. Even though I know that my problems won’t magically resolve when I loop this track, it helps to know that someone else understands and is bold enough to write a song about it.
Just Another Face — Modern Baseball
A band I found this year (but I sincerely wish that I found them earlier) and then proceeded to stream the heck out of their discography is Modern Baseball. They’re an incredibly tight-knit group and this friendship they have, translates well into the songs they sing. I felt that especially rang true for this song. Just Another Face was written during a season where Brendan, the lead singer of Modern Baseball, was diagnosed with manic depression. He sings about feeling that his existence is a waste of time and space, but he’s finally on a journey of understanding himself and working on his mental health. What moved me the most for this track is when the chorus starts and the rest of the band sings along, reassuring him that they’ll be there with him through this process and are proud of him. This track gave me a lot of hope and assurance, bringing me through the bulk of a rather down period this year.
Common Cold — Tiny Moving Parts
Surprise surprise it's TMP again. They’re the band I’ve sunk approximately 11,000 mins into in 2020 alone. I deeply relate to their poetry that’s riddled with despair, angst and strangely, hope. Common Cold starts off with Dylan yelling about how his lungs, like windows, need to open up because he can’t breathe. Interestingly, before I discovered this song, I used that exact imagery to describe what I had been feeling a lot for an extended period of time. Common Cold acknowledges that many times, it can be hard to have hope in disparaging situations, but yet that is the only thing we need to pull us through. Although the track ends seemingly negatively, once again, I appreciate how honest it is about how it feels to not be able to believe in anything or anyone because of what one is currently experiencing.
The Waterboy Returns — Modern Baseball
At this point, it looks like I exclusively listen to TMP and Modern Baseball, which further proves my love for these two bands because they make me feel understood. The Waterboy Returns is written from the perspective of someone who greatly loves their friend who is grappling with depression. This another one of those songs where the love the band members have for each other shines through. Everything about this track comes off as incredibly genuine and raw. I found myself taking a lot of comfort in this track.
By My Side — Belmont
This is an absolute banger. Starting off with samples from old alien movies, layered over a deep bassline and 808 snares, By My Side is a guaranteed head banger and much needed pick me up. I first discovered this track via a scene playlist and liked it so much, I went on to listen to almost all of Belmont’s discography. I liked them so much I even bought their band tee! The song emphasises on tension of being lost in your head, feeling stuck between who you currently are and who you want to be. Although I was drawn in by its whacky but addictive beat, I found myself looping this song while in an angsty period of thwarted self discovery.
Pop-punk and emo have defined my most looped tracks of the year. I’ve grown to love these genres more and more because of their rawness, sick rifts and courage to sing painfully honest things. You know what you should do? Expand your music horizons and listen to these bands today! Maybe you’ll find yourself feeling more understood.
