Heart pumping, feeling breathless and my stomach twisting. I was never able to put my finger on what these feelings were. Growing up, I always experienced these encounters. I’ve always thought “something must be wrong with me”, or “am I sick or something?”.
I recall many occasions when I was on my way to school or my internship, feeling like I was going to pass out on public transport. As I wasn’t sure what I was going through, I took MCs frequently and avoided going to school and work. That was when the people around me started to say that I’m “lazy”. Eventually, I bought into that idea as well.
Now that I am 23, I’ve realised that these were signs of anxiety. It was my body’s way of telling me “Mission abort”. I was never medically diagnosed with anxiety, but I know my experiences are real to me, just as they are to you. I knew it was important for me to know how to deal with these emotions and therefore, I would also like to share some of the ways I deal with anxiety.
1. Identifying signs of anxiety
This is important because when you are aware that you are about to get an anxiety attack, you can better cope with them by giving yourself a breather.
I often see a recurring pattern in the way my body reacts before I eventually climb to a state of anxiousness. It usually comes in stages where I feel a little sleepy, which then evolves into feeling knots in my stomach. My breathing gets heavy, my heart starts pumping and I start to feel nauseous.
Finally, I want to curl into a ball in a corner and I feel lightheaded, with signs of passing out. When I am aware of these signs, I try to practice the next step to calm myself down.
2. Grounding Technique
Many of you might have googled “ways to deal with anxiety” and stumbled upon this. Personally, this works well for me. For those who are new to this, the grounding technique is a technique where you try to find the following things to engage your 5 senses.
- 5 things you see around you
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
I was originally skeptical of this technique until I decided to give it a try. I believe the psychology behind this technique is to be able to tell your mind that you are still in control of your surroundings and everything is fine.
Of course, this is not magical. It does not mean you will be entirely okay but at least, you have a little more control over yourself.
3. Know that it is okay to take a break
As I’ve mentioned, most of my anxiety encounters were on public transport, and there were times where I tried to force myself to sit through until I reached my destination because I didn’t want to be late. However, for me, the more I ignore them, the more my brain goes on a state of “heightened alert”.
Therefore, I want to assure you that if you need to step out of any situation you are in, it is okay. Give yourself time to breathe and step out of that train you are on or the classes you are in. If you need to take medical leave, please do and when you do, take time to rest and reflect when you are feeling better.
4. Be prepared for the following day
I find myself more on the edge when I don’t have enough sleep. On crowded public transport, I can get anxious as well. On days where I have classes on subjects I am not as confident in or when I am about to start a new job, I get anxious when I don’t feel prepared. Therefore, I always pack my bags and prepare for the following day. I make sure I rest well and early so that my brain has sufficient rest to deal with the tasks I have on the following day.
5. Knowing your worth
Finally, don’t condemn yourself for how your body is acting. Instead, take time to think about what you might be afraid of.
Growing up, I never knew I was stressed because I did not have any expectations placed on me by my parents. However, now that I took time to think things through after every anxiety attack, I have come to realise that subconsciously, I was always afraid that I would not be able to meet the standards of the world. I feared getting scolded or not performing well. I was not confident, and I placed my worth on what others thought of me.
Even though I did have a stage where I told myself that I didn’t care about what others thought of me, it wasn’t enough because I wasn’t satisfied with myself. Hence, find your worth and a way to tell yourself that you are the best version of you. You can grow to be better but that doesn’t mean you are a failure now. Rest when it is needed, and your value is not given by the world.
These are some of my experiences and techniques. I know it might not work for everyone, but I know that it is a learning journey for all of us. I want you to know that you are worthy, loved and one day everything will get better.
It is not that those negative feelings will go away entirely, but you will be able to know how to better live and manage it. Lastly, if you are in a state where you have no control over those emotions, seek help.
Mental health is a very real issue and can happen to anyone. If you feel that you are experiencing these emotions and are unable to control them, do visit resources like Samaritans of Singapore and many more here to seek help.
As your seniors at Poly Parcel, we are here for you too! Reach out to us on Telegram if you need a listening ear. You are not alone!
