Mid-life crisis–we’ve heard of it. But mid-Poly crisis? Is that even real?
A mid-life crisis happens when a person usually around the age of 45-65 years old experiences a struggle with their identity, self-confidence and meaning of life. I had a similar experience during year 2 of Poly.
It was the beginning of the semester and I was entering my second year of Poly in the Diploma of Mass Communication. My first two semesters in year 1 went relatively well and I was satisfied with my grades.
Despite that, something about school made me feel so sian. Going to school felt so pointless and I started to question the purpose of my education, whether or not I was in the right course, and even why I had to lose sleep over my studies. Was it worth it? Suddenly, life felt meaningless and pointless.
I looked at the two remaining years ahead and wished that time would pass by faster. However, thinking about life after Poly also felt very depressing because it would mean working five days a week till I’m old. I wanted to do something more in life! I wanted life to be meaningful.
Apart from that, I also felt like nobody could truly be there for me—like I was on this journey of life alone. I remember thinking, “People care for me but there is a limit to how much they can care.” I was thinking of how I had to take charge of my own life; getting good grades depended on me as nobody could sit for exams in my place; getting a job also depended on me as nobody could go for interviews on my behalf.
While I had these depressing thoughts, I knew that the reality was that I had a supportive family and genuine friends who cared for me. It’s just that knowing is not believing and it was difficult to overcome those negative feelings inside me.
These all sound very silly in hindsight. I don’t mean that these feelings weren’t valid but that these feelings were just a season in my life. I took the time to thrash my feelings out with myself by voicing my thoughts. Doing deep reflection and journaling my emotions were my ways of venting and healing. Slowly, I began to find my footing again.
I learnt that while it is true that we all have our battles to fight, that doesn’t mean that we have to fight them alone. I imagine life to be a race that we have to run and complete; while nobody can run it for us, there are many people on the sideline cheering us on—these are our family, friends and loved ones! In small but powerful ways, they are constantly supporting us.
I remember one of my friends going through the same mid-poly crisis as me and we both began to find comfort in sharing our feelings openly with one another. I felt that she could relate to me and that I was not alone. I hope that writing this article, it would also assure you that you are not alone.
Every struggle you face could just be a season in life. Right now, it could be school, grades or friends, but in a different stage of life, it could then be career, family or money. While the certainty of life is that these seasons of struggle are unavoidable, the hope is in the fact that these things are only temporary.
Keep your chin up and look ahead to better days. Nothing lasts in this life, not even your bad days.
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