2020 will definitely be a year to remember.
As the year is finally coming to an end, many of us will heave a sigh of relief as it has been a challenging time. We all hope that our lives can return back to normal. It has been a year where many lives were lost, travel plans were cancelled, lectures were shifted online and working from home became a norm.
When the year began, I felt hopeful that I could accomplish my goals. But alas, the weight of unproductivity and problems in life caused me to struggle to stay afloat and I felt stuck in life. The period of circuit breaker was no easy feat. With offices, schools and many business establishments closed, we were forced to adjust to the new normal.
CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT
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Pre-circuit breaker days, my typical day revolved around working in the office, meeting up with friends and going for gym classes. The sudden shift from spending most of my time outside to staying at home all day was tough. I often felt restless and lost.
For starters, working from home was all I ever wished for but when it finally came true, I realised that it wasn’t what I expected it to be. With the rise of COVID cases in the CBD area, I started working from home since the start of March. Although I was fond of the idea initially due to the flexibility, working from home indefinitely took a toll on me.
Without a physical office, the line between work and life outside of work has been blurred tremendously. With extended working hours and longer meetings, I was both mentally and physically drained. On top of that, structural changes at work caused tensions, unhappiness and added stress. I became easily agitated and flared up at minor inconveniences.
In addition, being cooped up at home with my family all day meant that we got under each other’s skin frequently. I desperately wanted my personal space to recharge, have some alone time and to avoid conflicts as much as possible
These snowballed into feelings of inadequacy, fear and distress. I felt that everyone around me was progressing, having better career opportunities, entering into new relationships, and moving to new phases in life, while I was stuck at where I was since the start of the year.
TIDING THROUGH THE STORM
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I decided to make changes to my physical habits, and form new ones that can help my body adjust to the WFH lifestyle. So I divided my day into three parts with short breaks throughout the day. Knowing my tendency to procrastinate, I had to be intentional with it – taking a short walk during my lunch break, 4pm tea break and unwind with a HIIT workout after dinner. Soon, I found myself being more productive and less lethargic!
However, I still couldn’t shake off the anxious thoughts. As such, I started journaling to express my innermost feelings, which helped me to structure my flow of thoughts and face my greatest fears.
Without my family and trusted friends, I would not have been able to manage during this tough season. My family has been a pillar of support, and we did more activities together like baking, cooking, gaming and running.
An amazing group that helped me a lot would be my friends from church. They are a very important source of comfort to me. We had zoom workouts, played online games and checked in on each other weekly. Our raw conversations and words of encouragement gave me solace and strength to face tough times.
LIFE LESSONS IN 2020
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2020 has taught me two major lessons.
#1 Life is unpredictable, know what is truly important.
As COVID-19 has stripped life to its essentials, I’ve taken a step back and re-evaluated my life choices, and am reminded that life is more than just running the rat race.
As I reflected, some questions I have been pondering on are: What am I chasing after, and why? Why am I doing what I’m doing? What are my priorities in life?
Through this, I’ve realised the importance of building my personal relationships with people who care about me. I've learnt to value them and treasure the time spent together, as they are the ones who have journeyed with me through my ups and downs.
I realised that the most valuable things in life are neither money nor accolades, but the relationships I have with the people I love.
#2 We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control our attitude.
When things didn’t go according to my seemingly *perfect* plan, I spent many nights worrying and fretting about the future. My mind was filled with “what if”s and it often drifted to scenarios beyond my control.
Looking back, I’ve been placing my joy in transient circumstances, and it’s still a struggle to let go sometimes. 2020 has shown how little control we have over certain situations, but we can always choose our attitude and response to such uncertainty.
Hope is a choice. In spite of these difficulties, I choose to see the brighter side of things and trust that better days await.
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
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Nobody knows what the future holds. As we approach 2021, I choose to be positive and confident in my ability to adapt to changes, even if they are tough. Instead of allowing the fear of the unknown to consume me, I’ve decided to let life take its course. As unpredictable as it might be, I will be okay with that and I hope you will take on life’s challenges with confidence too.
