We often hear introverts talk about their struggles to make friends so we gave some tips in our article last week. It’s time we hear from our extroverted friends about their struggles as well.
Crystal Tan, a graduate from Ngee Ann Polytechnic shares her perspective and sheds light on some of the assumptions people have of her as an extrovert. Here are her top 3 struggles as an extrovert.
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1. Not Living Up To Expectations
“The life of the party… has not arrived.” Being an extrovert, I feel that people expect me to be at my top form such as being able to entertain whoever it is at whichever event I am at.
I remember attending a gathering, sitting next to a barbeque grill and having friends come up to me and ask why I was not going around striking conversations with people sitting at corners.
Either that or it’s them joking about how I was “probably having a bad day” since I was not mixing in with the rowdy bunch of people crowded around the games table.
I did not know how to put it across that I was in fact having a great time waiting for the timer to go off to flip the chicken on the grill.
2. Not Knowing What Else To Say
Sometimes I just do not want to talk. I enjoy sitting in the midst of all the noise, soaking it in, and relishing in all the laughter and talk going on around me. However, sometimes not being a social butterfly is equivalent to not being me and/or being a little off.
I once attended a workshop with my friends and after a few courteous hellos, I exited the ongoing conversations simply because I had nothing else to add to the conversations. That resulted in my friends asking if I was okay and if anything was going on because I had nothing to say.
3. I Talk Too Much
On the other hand, sometimes I have too much to say. I like to talk and sometimes I tend to go on and on without leaving out a single detail about my day—from the kind of jam I put on my bread all the way to the three-step night time routine I established before I go to bed.
Sometimes, it takes a toll on my boyfriend who has to listen to me ramble on. TL;DR, we had conversations about how I had to be more aware of the energy of the people around me and had to be more conscious of how long I was rattling off for.
However, with all that said, being an extrovert is fun and great! I would never change anything! I love talking, making people laugh and being loud and boisterous.
After the past 21 years of talking over boundaries and babbling on about the things that make me excited, I’ve come to realise that there is no template to being an extrovert.
I struggle less by being okay with not fitting the conventional mould of being an extrovert and being adaptable with accommodating other people (i.e not talking as much) despite being an extrovert.
At the end of the day, Jamie Campbell Bower puts it best - “I’m an extrovert, I like to talk, gesticulate and talk loud and stuff, and the theatre is easy for me.”
It doesn’t matter whether you are an extrovert or an introvert–we all appreciate friendship! And it’s not about having the energy to socialise 24/7, it’s about making interactions with people count.
Join us at our upcoming event to get to meet Annette Lee and new friends in your poly! In our second instalment of Speed Friending, spend your night being swept away by Annette’s live performance of her latest single and have meaningful conversations with people outside your social circle!
More details on the events HERE.
Sign up now at bit.ly/polyspeedfriending
