If I could have a superpower, it would be to control time. The first thing on my to-do-list after getting my powers isn’t anything heroic. I simply want to stop time so that I can have more time to do work, sleep and spend time with my family and friends.
It’s not easy, it can feel extremely overwhelming at times as family, friends and studies are all important. There is no magic way to balance everything perfectly but this article will give you tips on how to better manage them.
1. Make a List of Your Priorities and Non-Negotiables
When feeling overwhelmed with school work, I often let my emotions take over. It sucks to feel like it’s impossible to finish everything I have to do. What adds to the stress is having to think and manage relationships with the people around me. Hence, before the storm comes, it is best to know my priorities.
Make a list of priorities that are non-negotiable so that when you get busier, you won’t lose sight of them. There is no template for this list as it varies for everybody. Take some time to think about what you value the most in family, friendships and studies.
For me, this was my non-negotiable list—commitments that I will continue to keep no matter how busy I get:
- Spending time with family on Sunday night
- Coming back home for dinner with my family at least once a week
- Catching up with close friends over text at least once a week
- Submitting project and assignments on time
- Going for CCA commitment once a week
When the going gets tough and I feel like I’m drowning, I look back at this list that I’ve created with a clear mind. This helps me decide what I can choose to let go of and what I should hold on to.
2. Don’t Blur the Boundaries
Planning is always an essential part of time management and it is also my greatest weakness. I struggle to plan on what I want to do for the week and allocate my time wisely.
Even in some weeks where I had planned out my schedule, I find it difficult to stick to it. I would set aside specific time for studying but I end up texting my friend or scrolling through Instagram.
The blurring of boundaries made me inefficient and left me feeling extremely frustrated as it always felt like I couldn’t accomplish anything productively.
If you have set aside a morning to complete your assignments, be sure to put aside all distractions and focus on completing what you have set out to do. If you have decided to have dinner with your family, be sure to stop all work and focus on having a good meal together–don’t be present only partially and study while eating.
3. Talk about Expectations
In any relationship, there are unspoken expectations. As they are not said out loud most of the time, it is challenging to guess what the other party is thinking.
Sometimes, the expectations are set by ourselves. I remember getting stressed about balancing my internship, CCA commitments and time with family and friends. My internship took my mornings and afternoons so I was left with weekday nights and weekends to spend time with my family and friends. On top of that, I was heavily involved in my CCA as well.
Thankfully, I had very understanding parents and friends but I still stressed myself from thinking that I am not spending enough time with these people who were important to me. As a result, I always feel flustered when I rush from one place to another, trying to make full use of my time by meeting as many people as I can in a day.
Naturally, this lifestyle could not last long. I felt burnt out so I began to slow down. I reflected on what were the stressors and I realised it was myself. A better way to manage these relationships well was to clarify if there are any expectations from the other party. For example, a good friend and I agreed that we didn’t need to reply to text messages immediately and it was alright that we didn’t text for a few days. This helped identify and remove any unnecessary stress that I may have unknowingly placed on myself.
If your friends and family have expectations that are beyond what you can deliver, try to explain to them about your struggles and help them understand your situation better. Your friends and family are always supporting you. I believe that they will be able to understand!
4. Learn to say ‘No’
If I had a dollar every time I said ‘Yes’, I’d be a millionaire.
On a serious note, I have a hard time saying ‘No’ to people. Perhaps I’m a people pleaser or perhaps I overestimate my limits but I always find myself in situations where I compromise one for another. I’d agree to hang out for supper with friends or stay up till 3 am to have a heart-to-heart talk, chucking aside 2000 more words to write on my essay that’s due the next day.
Learning to say ‘No’ to something means saying ‘Yes’ to something else. There may be days you have to sacrifice time with your friends for your family, other days you may have to sacrifice your studies for a friend in need. Evaluate what is more important and choose wisely.
If you are afraid that saying ‘No’ to hanging out with friends would make you drift apart, there are other ways to stay connected and keep the friendship tight even during busy periods. Doing work or studying together is one, or you could simply pick a less time and energy-consuming activity that you both enjoy. Remember, it’s not about the quantity of time spent together; it’s about the quality instead.
These three aspects of life – family, friends and school, will always fight for your attention in your three years of Poly. There will be moments where we struggle harder to balance them, but start small! Don’t aim for perfection but aim for growth in how you manage your relationship with family, friends and studies. You can do it!
