I quit school after two weeks in. Never in my life would I have thought I would say that. But it happened five years ago.
In 2016, I joined Child Psychology and Early Education in Ngee Ann Polytechnic (NP). However, I decided it wasn’t a course I would like to continue studying in so without (too much) hesitation, I withdrew from my course.
Everything seemed nice in my course but it was simply a place I did not feel belonged to. In my first two weeks of school, I felt constantly lost with my directions, the curriculum, people and everything in between.
Everyone seemed to be settling in well and fast in their newly formed cliques but I found myself very much alone, even when my friends tried to integrate me into their activities and conversations.
On top of not being able to have someone to relate to and find social support in, I wasn’t prepared for the amount of schoolwork and preparations that quickly piled up in the initial weeks. I didn't know who to seek help from and was afraid I would burden others who may be struggling too, hence I made a really difficult choice to quit.
It was a difficult decision for me especially because my mum wished that I would not give up so easily but try on longer instead. It may sound like I am exaggerating but at that point in time, I was in a state of daily emotional stress and I wished I could quit earlier since I did not feel happy continuing in my course.
Although I stayed on for only two weeks in the course, I dreaded going to school every morning because I was afraid of how to interact with the people around me and I also felt stressed in making sure that I met the demands of school adequately.
The only aspect of school I found some joy in was my CCA, where I enjoyed the bond I had with the friends I met there and the camp that was organised by the committee. But I knew that my CCA wasn’t and couldn’t be a strong enough reason for me to stay. I believe I should stay on if I knew the course was something I am truly passionate about; at that point in time, I wasn’t clear of my passion and interest in life.
After quitting my course, I had to constantly face social judgement and difficult questions from people around me which lasted for more than a year. It wasn’t easy telling others why I quit and not everybody could empathise with my feelings.
Besides that, I felt guilty because my family had tried their best to give me support, yet it seemed like I had disappointed them through my decision to quit. Financially, I had to pay one full semester of school fees even though I only attended school for 2 weeks. However, I didn’t want to continue wasting my time in school when I clearly knew that I wanted to quit. It was just really torturing for me to continue on.
On the last day of school, my mum came down to school to meet the programme chair of my course. Everything ended there and we went home with a heavy yet relieved heart. I felt liberated and this was a waking call for me to put in more thoughts about my life decisions in the future.
Albeit being an unpopular choice–seeing how others completed a year of studies and spent their time productively in school–I don’t regret my choice.
I worked a part-time job to occupy myself while I took the time to recalibrate my choices. It was a good breather as I went overseas to relax and have fun. I was in a clearer state of mind with the rest I had gotten.
After a year, I was blessed to be given a second chance by Republic Polytechnic (RP). I enrolled into Health Services Management in RP and I felt really happy there! I made many close friends too and we supported each other through the years.
Unlike being in NP, I felt really connected to the place and people there. It was a place filled with many great memories and I wouldn’t trade anything else for the experiences I gained in RP. I’m glad I took the courage to quit and stumbled upon a course that gave me more insight into what I am interested in doing, and led me to what I am doing currently.
I graduated from my course in RP last year and now, I am a Year 1 student studying Occupational Therapy at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). Through RP and numerous volunteering opportunities I’ve gotten outside of the curriculum, I came to understand what Occupational Therapy is about.
It is a meaningful course that is about empowering others and improving their quality of lives. I aspire to be an Occupational Therapist in the future which will bring value to others, just as much as it will be of great value to me.
Reflecting on all that had happened, I’d be lying if I said, “Don’t be afraid to quit”. It is normal to feel afraid to make such a big decision, especially when it’s not a choice that everyone favours and is able to understand.
However, if you feel like you are in the same situation as me five years ago, my advice would be to take enough time to reconsider your choices if you feel that you have more interest and passion in other courses. Go on job attachments or volunteering opportunities that are related to your interest. Talk to trusted friends and adults about your thoughts and feelings, and gain a supportive network no matter how big or small. By talking things out, you can iron out your thoughts better (be careful, because talking to too many people may turn into confusion!).
Get back on track whenever you are ready. It is important to avoid feeling “FOMO” because you made a different choice from the majority. Everyone will walk a different pathway in life, and yours can be uniquely meaningful. I’ve been there, and you are not alone in this journey. Take heart, and take that first step whenever you are ready!
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*Written by Kelly (not her real name) who studied in RP, Health Services Management.
